Small Steps

Episode #7 – Challenge Title: The Heart
Welcome to Small Steps – a Podcast for Growing up Grown Ups.
These Small Steps will be simple, do-able and practical to help you relate to your young child in a healthy way as each of you grows. So hang around for some encouragement as you raise up your little one.
I’m Nanette Johnson, Minister to Preschoolers and their families at First Baptist Church Arlington.
This is Episode 7 of the Small Steps Podcast
Have you ever heard these phrases said – or maybe you’ve said them yourself?
• Follow Your Heart. - Get to the Heart of the Matter. Don’t Be Halfhearted About Something.
• Have a Change of Heart. – You have a Heart of gold. - Cold hands warm heart
“So - What is the heart of the matter when it comes to parenting? Literally – how is your child’s heart being nurtured and trained? Their mind, body & spirit are all directly tied to their Heart. Just like you! When we guard our heart, we are more likely to make smarter decisions. When we focus on God’s truths we will gravitate to following His steps. When we treasure God’s words in our heart we reflect His love around us. The heart of the matter actually is The Heart.

When we focus on the growth of the Heart, then the mind, body and spirit will follow on this growth path. The heart determines actions. The heart holds passions, desires, convictions, and life! It is no surprise that the heart is a vital organ. But it is so much more than a beating organ. The heart is your child’s guide for all of life! So it is worth figuring out - How to parent the Heart of your child. How in the world do you grow your child’s heart?
It actually is pretty easy, because of the way God designed our Hearts. The Heart is central to life – so it absorbs everything around it. The definition of absorption is the state of becoming engrossed after totally concentrating on something. It means you become engrossed in something. That definition alone should stop us in our tracks. Your child’s heart is becoming engrossed in the environment surrounding them. When we break this down their surroundings include everything they hear, see, feel, and experience. What they hear over and over, the noise that is consent, the tone, the volume, the gestures, body language, and attitude – their heart is absorbing all of that. They hear it, the brain records it, their feelings respond to it and their heart…. Their heart absorbs it. And then it all happens again with what they see, and the experiences they have in the places they go. This absorption never stops. In these constant days of parenting, the Heart of the Matter is to be aware of what your child is hearing, seeing, feeling, and experiencing daily? What is engrossing them? This takes intentional steps, commitments, and choices.
As a family that chooses to Follow the Jesus Way, our beliefs guided our choices and commitments. Our beliefs affect everything! Your own beliefs, convictions, values, and priorities affect your language, messages, entertainment, schedule, and choices. Those same convictions will guide what is seen and focused on through the screens, devices and even games played. What you spend your time, resources and energy on communicates those values and affects your schedule. And guess what – your child’s heart is absorbing those convictions and beliefs.
The Proverbs say it like this:
When you look into water, you see a likeness of your face.
When you look into your heart, you see what you are really like. Prov. 27:19 NIrV
Your child’s heart has been designed to have desires. And early in life, their desire is to be just like you! Heart and all.
How does this all relate to your family?
How does this relate to the Heart of your family? As you guide your child, where are you spending your time, energy, and resources? Those areas usually give a clear understanding of the influences on your child and family life. Is the heart of your child absorbing positive, encouraging and helpful words that help foster smart choices, kind actions and faithful decisions? Are they seeing and hearing kind words and actions? Are God’s truths speaking through music, voices, stories, shows, and games that are played? Are they seeing healthy conversations, strong relationships, pure motives, and experiencing consistent love and expectations that reflect strong values? It isn’t just about what they are seeing, hearing, and feeling. There are two directions. Their heart is also absorbing how they perceive they are being seen, heard, and acknowledged within the family.
Maybe the biggest challenge of parenting is the reflection we see of ourselves in our children. Those times when they are playing in their own space and you hear them acting the part of the “mommy or daddy”, saying the same exact words, with the same exact tone you have said to them, many times! Parenting is such a humbly place, bringing us to the mirror over and over to examine who we really are. All for the sake of guarding our child’s future.
Above everything else, guard your heart.
Everything you do comes from it. Prov. 4:23
Y’all - this is important! Before we get too heavy hearted -
Let’s summarize with 4 Small Steps –
Step 1 – We know - The heart is the Center of life. Actions, desires, cares, passions, decisions are all guided by the heart. Your Child’s Heart is super pliable right now in these early years.
Step 2 – Be aware of everything! No big deal – right? Actually, what I mean is pay attention to the little things, because little things add up to big things. The little habits done daily. The little frustrations, negative phrases, or angry voices that are heard daily. The ignored cries or needs or conversations passed off daily. Those little words, rude scenes or negative feelings experienced daily, impact the Heart of the Matter. So Be Aware – and pay attention to your own heart. Your own desires, passions, and cares. You may decide your heart needs some tender love and care in the process.
Step 3 – Try making some small changes. Switch one negative word for a positive one – and say it every day. Switch one show that may have some degrading messages for a 15 minute family game time. Try looking your child in their eyes when they ask a question – for the 100th time. Try reflecting God’s truths in the things seen, said and experienced. In the Every Day! As you adjust daily habits, you are leading their heart.
Justin Early, in his book, Habits of the Household says it like this: “to steward the habits of your family is to steward the hearts of your family. The heart always follows the habit.”
Step 4 – Celebrate LIFE with children! They are such a delight and they teach us so much! Celebrate those times you see them acting just like you! Because that is LIFE! We are all learning and growing and living life with our Whole Heart. What a gift to Celebrate!

I’ll close with one more scripture, from Deuteronomy 6. It gives clear answers to the question we started with: How do we Grow a child’s heart?
“Love GOD, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.”
The Good news it – you, as a parent, are normal. Every parent wants to do better- for the sake of their child’s future. I hope you feel encouraged to ….parent with your Whole Heart while getting to the Heart of the Matter.

Thanks so much for joining me today.
As you repeat these Small Steps consistently, you will learn more about your child’s design and will be amazed by their growth. Their Growth depends on your Small Steps - as you too are Growing Up!